Thursday, February 24, 2011

GYM BAG

A Zen Master once said “The Atlantis gym bag is the new gay pride flag.”

Deep in its meaning, true in its declaration.

I carried my Atlantis Cruises gym bag like a true disciple for years. Recently while I stood naked in the locker-room it self-destructed in front of me. Just fell to the earth and faded into dust. Kind of like Christine Aguilera. With less flames.

I had a moment of naked silence for my gay cruise memento. Then as I stood over the ashes of my dearly departed and rubbing the hairs on my stomach, I realized the next chapter in my life. I quickly dug like a vulture through the dead bag and pulled out my phone. “I’m calling Dalton!” I declared knowing he is the only man to care about my naked moment.

“Hi. The zipper just ripped out of my gym bag, now I have a reason to buy a new Puma backpack.” Realizing how A) shallow B) gay it sounded as I said it. “Uh…. Great…. Good for you?” Dalton is the only man I know that will give me mock praise and concern when I want it. That’s why I love him, he patronizes me. Tiny moments in your life sometimes need to be shared with someone that unconditionally loves you.

“Tell you what. I haven’t given you a birthday present yet. What If I make that your present?” Dalton said in that tone that always makes me feel all warm and safe.

An end to an era. Out with the old, free bag with cruise purchase with it's never ending smell of Gun Oil and in with a rocking Puma backpack. 

4 comments:

Wonder Man said...

I just use the free bags we get on campus

Pac said...

I got a cool Under Armor gym bag to match my Under Armor ensemble. Then my cat peed in it. It's pretty demoralizing to walk into a funky ass locker room and have guys wrinkle their nose at me.

Damien Oz said...

Mmmmmmmmm........... Gun Oil

Freddyeyes said...

Oh THIS is the bag we spoke of!? Dude I dig!