Apparently there is a huge clan of gays that jog. Who knew? Well for the last couple of Sunday mornings I’ve decided to join these freaky creatures. You’ll now find me as part of the “running set” and when I say “running” I mean I’m the one staggering through the crosswalks like I'm staging an interpretive dance of Mein Kampf in a sweat soaked Dixie’s Tupperware party t-shirt.
I have noticed a couple of odd things during our private time in the park, me and the health queers. How completely healthy are you that you can run, talk on your Blackberry, and cruise me? Wow, good for you. How lazy are you that you can’t get out of your SUV to cruise me? Just drive up to the next cross walk and wait for me to come around. That’s really hot. Major points are awarded to the bear with the recorder (yes the kind you played in 3rd grade music appreciation class.) Who stands on the corner of 12th and serenades me as prance by like a gazelle. Mr. bear has lost a couple points for not wearing his fez lately.
So, that’s where I’ll be….dying of heat exhaustion, and getting healthy with the cool kids. But on the inside, you'll know that I'm pretending that I just held up a store to get some cash to my German boyfriend before he gets taken out or, something like that.
I wish my running adventures where more like that. I'm trying my hardest to roll an ankle on an inner-city cobblestone sidewalk. No gays, just one mega-hot bear-type that I've taken to accientally 'bumping into'. He wants my sex, he just doesn't know it yet. Stupid het'ro
ReplyDeleteMaybe I ought to google 'Gay parks: Melbourne' except I'm afraid of the result I may turn up.
So, anyway... how are those calves looking. Ready to make me throw up with jealousy yet?
Its been 'gay' for some time.
ReplyDeleteI used to rollerblade there a lot in the 90's. I'd go w/buddies and we would do jumps and tricks (pardon the pun) off the pavilion and race around the paved track.
I never once 'hooked up' there even though I always saw plenty of fellow 'mos.