"A battery?" the Macbook said to me over the weekend. "Nope haven't seen it."
"It's right there! It's literally attached to you!” I screamed. “See! Right there.”
“Uh, no. And please don’t yell at me. There is no sign of a battery; I don’t think there ever was one. I don’t know what to tell you….you have wanted to spend 100 bucks at the Apple store. For no good reason. You could buy me a new battery.” The Macbook calmly suggested.
“God I hate you” I muttered.
“You could never hate me, I’m your Macbook.”
“Uh, you’re right I could never hate you. You bring so much joy to my world.”
“Well…..yes……and I could send all your porn to everyone you know. Just saying. Go buy me a new battery.”