Tuesday, March 16, 2010

BREAKUPS ARE HARD TO DO

“What happened to the coffee maker?” I said to the dog as I came home and walked into the kitchen.
“I’m not gonna say but, it was spectacular.” Harley the Shar-Pei said with too much glee in his voice. Uh, oh I thought. When Harley says something was “spectacular” that means a lot of cursing and cussing was involved.
“Fuzz? Uh…did something happen between you and the coffee maker today?” I yelled up the stairs.
“No.”
“Are you sure? It’s no longer in the kitchen. Did the coffee maker move out?”
“We’re not going to talk about the coffee maker!” Fuzzy yelled down the stairs.
“Let’s put it this way. If I were to check the coffee makers Facebook status, would it have under Relationship It’s Complicated or Newly Single?”
“I wouldn’t know, I’ve de-friended the coffee maker, you can continue to message him but, I’m done.” I rolled my eyes in mocking as I said out loud “I’m done.” Italians. “I’m done.”
“Well. I’m sorry to hear about you and the coffee maker. If you want to talk about it I’ll be right here.” Then I raced back into the kitchen to ask the dog what really happened. Apparently, the coffee maker had the audacity to stop working….or maybe break during a critical coffee need. Still spurting out half brewed coffee it got carried to the curb. Whilst Fuzzy was wearing nothing but coffee covered underwear and swearwords.

Tonight, we try to go pick up a hot new coffee maker. Maybe this time in stainless steel. Hot.

4 comments:

Dead Robot said...

Gadgets are leaving the StevieB household en masse!

Christopher said...

What a misleading blog title...I was bracing for some sad news. Whew!!

StevieB & Fuzz Fo' Evah!

The Mutant said...

I've had a similar breakup with my electric razor in the past, I was even wearing a similar outfit at the time, so I understand the pain Fuzzy would be going through.

Give him time, he might need time alone, he might need someone to talk to, or he might simply need a good cup of coffee (too soon? Ouch).

Good thing you have Harley around to verify what really happened though. this may prove useful down the track.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how you can understand a word Harley says.. his accent is so thick! Ask him how good the green beans look.... cn