OK! I’ve got five words:
MY CAR IS MY LOVER.
It’s a Documentary exploring extreme relationships. It’s a film that follows two men who have sexual relationships with their cars. An uppity British film crew follows two men who are known as ‘mechaphiles’. That’s somebody who’s in love with their vehicle. And by "love" I mean blow loads of foaming man gravy on its dirty little bumper.
You can love your car; just don’t “love” your car. It’s on YouTube if you missed it on BBC America. Ever since I saw it, my Jeep’s been giving me the evil eye.