Thursday, April 9, 2009

....last night in the kitchen

“Did you throw out the Mac-n-cheese?”
“Yes.”
“So…this is what our relationship is based on? You just throw out food whenever it fits you whim?”
“Our relationship is based on me taking care of you in ways you don’t understand, like removing food that might kill you.”
“Don’t try your super-Oprah-powers on me. Sneaking around and cleaning out the fridge behind my back. What? You want out now?”
“Throwing away old food symbolizes to you the ending of our relationship?”
“Because you never communicate with me when you’re going to just toss away crusty Chinese food. When I get moldy are you going to toss me away?”
“Damn Skippy!”
“I just want to know when I need to say goodbye to our leftovers. I need closure. Couldn't you just update your Facebook status?”
“That I’m tossing Mac-n-cheese?”
“It would be proper.”
“Leave this kitchen!”
“See! You systematically removing our leftovers is tearing us apart!” You want to see other refrigerators now?
“Huh……maybe I’ll start a blog. I’ll call it NICE TO SEE STEVIEB WITH FOOD POISONING. I’ll blog about how much moldy Mac-n-cheese sends you to the ER. Pictures and everything, “here’s StevieB with his head in the toilet. Isn’t that cute. Oh, look he’s green! Hot!”

“You won’t always be able to use your Jedi Powers on me.”

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does he do windows too? fc

Anonymous said...

um - i dont know what to say..... cn

Kevin in Danbury said...

AS awful as it sounds I find this really funny. Maybe because I'm the cook and the old food thrower outer too.