Equus opens this week on Broadway, staring Daniel Radcliffe. This is a love story that I’m sure all of Harry Potter fans will be rushing to see. The hype about seeing Daniel’s full frontal nakedness will push those die-hard fans to see this tearjerker again and again. Soon you’ll see conventions of fans running around naked sodomizing and then flagellating in front of horses. Won’t that be fun? A fad will soon swarm the nation of gouging out horses eyes after worshiping them as gods.
As you know Equus is about a well-adjusted boy who makes up a religion based around his sexual attraction to horses due to his freak ass parents. Who, in the end have to pay the huge psychology bill to treat their son’s pathological religious/sexual fascination with horses.
Since this will soon be a fashion trend to hit America let’s jump on it and be among the first. So, today I’m sporting a lovely but understated flogger on my left shoulder, horse blood all over my pasty and yet sinewy British naked body and Pumas. Well, I want to be comfortable. Well I’m off to work, send me pictures of y’all when you get into the new trend.