Friday, August 7, 2009


Six o’clock this morning and I’m trying to get some gas and a muffin for the commute to work. I’m not really awake. It’s really Zombie Steve staggering around the coffee bar at the gas station. Glamorous I know. As I drag my carcass towards the counter I do however notice that the cashier is checking out my package. I may be sleepy but I’m not dead. That’s when he said:
“That’s really hot.”
“Uh…thanks dude.” That’s when I realize his eyes are wandering all over my chest.
“Where’d you get that?”
“Your Soundwave t-shirt. That’s frickin cool. He’s the best!”

Funny how you can interpret body language I clearly thought that… well never mind. The soon to be trick turned soon to be creepy nerd continued for what seem for about ten minutes on how Soundwave might be the real leader of the Decepticons. He came short of comparing him to Joseph Goebbels. Only as a evil robot cassette player hell bent on destroying the world, I'm sure that's an insult. I came to the edge of using the ultimate getaway line….

“Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.”

Thankfully I didn’t have too, the diatribe of comparing the Decepticons to the German high command ended quickly as he noticed I was slowly backing away from the counter. As I turned to leave I said “Shalom” and ran screaming into the early morning dew.


Anonymous said...

Were did you get that? I wonder if they make a Decepticon Frenzy T?

Wow, you should submit this pic on that Hot Guys with Iphones site.

bigislandjeepguy said...

anonymous: you took the words right outta my mouth! (guys with iphones). that is what i immediately thought when i saw the photo. it's got that headless, body shifted to one side, little bit of abs and underwear exposed look to it.

The Mutant said...

Who looks that good at 6:00 AM? I don't care if you have got a body you could grate cheese on (but why the fuck would you?) no one, and I mean no one can look that good at 6:00 AM, even without showing your head.

I hate you so much right now, and when you're not looking I'm going to break into your house, steal your Soundwave T-shirt and maybe mess up your sock-drawer too!

Kelly said...

you crack me up... we need to have drinks...

Dead Robot said...

I thought Starscream was the suggested #2? He was always ragging on how Megatron was fucking up all their plans.

Not that... I follow. It much.

Wonder Man said...

love the shirt